Transformers2: Marketing in Disguise

First of all, as a full disclosure I really liked the first one (against all my efforts not to and just see it for what it is – a thinly veiled uber-Pokemon-like product placement vehicle). I could look past all of this, if the next installment was any good, but it ain’t. There are some very clever graphics but it was all a bit too – well clever. And fast. I could not distinguish one robot from another, and it was hard to follow the action sequences in any enjoyable way, so was all a bit fast food.

Also, the women in the movie were all portrayed as wanton harlots suggestively posing over their motor bikes etc apart from one, who although she was carefully disguised as a wanton harlot, she was actually a killer robot in, well disguise.

Was it all bad? Well no, there were a few good bits that I kinda appreciated retrospectively but this is all the more disappointing as I should have enjoyed them when I was actually in the cinema. Techno fetishist souffle really.

No Salvation for Terminator

Man this is a loud movie. For some reason, every single event is treated with the same level of decibels from the flicking of a switch to the application of a plaster, to the obvious array of relatively inventive aggressive special effects that are rolled out to agitate our protagonists.

Is it any good? It’s kinda “meh” really. There is no real sense of suspense and it is not as good as say the Spielberg/Cruise remake of “War of the Worlds” which had a real air of sustained threat and menace. This kinda plods. There is some rather tired “robots shoah” posturing and it is all just rather well, obvious and predictable.

Christian Bale is ok, but he annoyed me with his late night radio voice and faux intensity. The guy who plays the human/droid cross is much better but even that wore a little thin after a while. There are tons of holes, like how come the hot chick fell for the robot in the first place and some funny bits like the subtext that San Fransisco (well really Palo Alto and the Silicon Valley) is the only likely cradle of all evil that would spawn such a diabolical thing as thinking machines bent on mankinds destruction. As an aside, why would the robots want to destroy mankind anyway? That is also never truly clear. For me when humans see technology as totally evil I can only say that this is a projection on the part of humankind. The technology is only ever evil in its application, anyway…

Terminator Salvation is better than the “Rise of the Machines” but then again that wouldn’t be hard. -1.

Coraline: The Movie

This is a beautifully made fantasy from the pen of Neil Gamain and featuring the animation of the much loved (by me anyway) Henry Selick and his fantastic stop-motion animation that made ‘The Nightmare before Christmas’ and ‘Corpse Bride’ such treats. On the surface, it is made for ‘kids’ but the cinema was full (so to speak) of graphic designers and wannabe animators – or they could have been unemployed. Either way, loved it. And it was a little scary. Well not for me obviously, ha ha, as that would be childish, and who could be scared of an evil skeletal mother archetype who gradually transforms into a vicious spider trapping the souls of lonely children? Well not me of course…

Yeah, it was a little scary, young kids, and aging kids may look away from time to time /and/ it was in 3D, so the scary bits were really jumping out at you – which was great.

Also, I didn’t like having to sit through the Jonas Brothers in 3D, having to watch the trailers in 2D is bad enough, thanking you.

But I digress. This is a finely crafted film, that captures the quirky world of our herione Coraline as she tries to fit into a new house and discovers a secret door that leads to a parallel universe that mirrors her own, except the food is better and her parallel universe parents are interested in her and have time for her. She is surrounded by quirky neighbours; like the fading stars of the stage who live downstairs with their collection of scotty terriers and calcified gobstoppers and the acrobatic circus performer who has yet to hang up his top hat. There is also a cool cat who acts as a much needed bridge between the two universes, but I have said too much!

The film also deals with many weighty themes from a child’s loneliness and parental indifference, to life & death in a way that doesn’t patronize children, kids know when you think they are stupid and don’t understand stuff don’t you know. Recommended.

The “Angels and Demons” movie

Avoid. Why?

1) Poor quality Angels, and pretty thin “science as demoniac force” low rent demons.

2) You won’t be able to get a snooze in, as every predictable car chase is accompanied by very loud Carl Orff type exhortations and the banging of drums.

3) While the book “Angels and Demons” was a better read than the “Da Vinci Code”, this does not say a lot, and sadly, nor does it translate as a better movie. This is a terrible movie. With every square inch of celluloid being crammed with more “Catholic conspiracy 101″ and “Symbolism for Mystical Tourists” than you could shake a tambourine at. This movie is also choc-a-block with tiresome exposition.  These revelations and mystical jigsaw puzzles should be exciting and draw the viewer into a sense of ever intrique and fascintation -  however in this case it is often patronising or just plain dull.

4) Is it all bad? There is one good bit (a short dialogue on the nature of faith) but I won’t tell you where it is.

It’s Star Trek Jim, but not as we know it

I ambled in to see the new Star Trek movie yesterday. I was initially quite skeptical as I have seen the much loved sci-fi franchise mutate more times that a morphing Morpholite from planet Morph. The movie kicked in and I did spend the first 20 mins or so mentally humphing about it and setting myself up for some in-advance disappointment (time is precious don’t you know).

“James T. Kirk did not listen to the Beastie Boys in my day” – the humph went along those lines but alas I could not maintain disappointment for long. The story unfolded and I was captivated by it, forgetting minor quibbles and loving the newness of some of the old Star Trek set pieces. Bones is still grumpy and kinda neurotic, Spock is dapper and bears a striking resemblance to an old friend of mine and Uhuru is a total fox.

The Romulans resemble what I always thought members of the band “Mars Volta” probably look like (apart from the singer who sounds like a girl Romulan) and have a space ship that resembles a rather neglected mother-in-laws-tongue, that can hop through the space time continuum, don’t you know.

Anyway, as someone experiencing aging through the lens of rehashed much loved sci-fi TV shows – I found this one invigorating and fun – and even weirdly in harmony with the original. I didn’t like the “Next Generation” as they just didn’t look right to me and the next one was a bridge too far altogether, so I surprised myself that my enjoyment genes lapped this new version up so readily.